Honoring the Knowing

A couple of months ago I welcomed the drummers above, created by Penny Sisto, into my home. Penny is a wise woman and her art, along with being beautiful, amplifies connections to the Divine in ways I often find difficult to put into words. This story is one example I can put into words.

Nearly as soon as I welcomed these women into my home (the story of how they came to be is a story for another day), it became clear that the tapestry of Trayvon Martin that had been hanging above my mantle for years, also created by Penny, was ready to move to a new home. When this knowing came, a brief battle between the logical and intuitive parts of me ensued. It went something like this:

Wisdom: It's time for Trayvon to move on.

The Logical: WHHHHAAAAAT? Are you kidding? Why would I ever get rid of a Penny Sisto piece?

Wisdom: It's time for Trayvon to move on.

The Logical: What will people think when they hear I'm getting rid of a Penny Sisto?

Wisdom: It's time for Trayvon to move on. You know who to give him to. It doesn't matter what other people think.

The Logical: GIVE him to?? I'm supposed to GIVE him away? I paid good money for him. And besides, what will I hang over my mantle now?

Wisdom: You know you can't sell him. That would be a dishonoring. You know who to give him to. What is supposed to hang in that space next will come when it’s time.

The Logical: Why do I have to give him up?

Wisdom: You've learned everything you need to from him.

The Logical: WHHHHAAAAAT? I know so little. I have so much to learn still. What will people think if I say that? Who am I to say I've learned what I need to? I’m a white woman. I’ll never have learned enough from him.

Wisdom: You have new teachers. You'll continue to learn. It doesn't matter what other people think. Someone else needs Trayvon now more than you do.

The Logical: Someone else needs him. OK... OK... OK. I'm listening. I'm breathing. I will practice trusting you again. I will pass him on. I know who needs him now.


Wisdom, Knowing, Sophia*, my guide that coaxes me into greater alignment with my deepest values, has yet to lead me astray. When I do wander off the path...so very often...it's because I'm not listening well, I'm not trusting, I'm trying to make logical sense of Mystery.

Wisdom's message that day was so clear that I got it. And so in the days that followed the conversation with Her, I prepared to send Trayvon to his new home. I took him from the wall above the mantle, I cleansed and blessed him with incense. I rubbed a perfumed oil into the wooden piece that held him. I said what I needed to say to him, so that I could give him with with open-hearted joy and delight. I passed him on and he was received with welcome. Any more of his story is for someone else to tell.


For many days after their arrival, the drummers sat on my loveseat just behind where I sit for Zoom calls. This meant I could see them on the screen during calls, see them behind me, supporting me. They were there for weeks both because I wanted them close and because the room they were going to hang in was disordered. I wanted better for them. Finally, a few weeks after seeing Trayvon safely to his new home, I thoroughly cleaned the room waiting for the drummers, moving furniture and lifting up the carpet to vacuum hidden dirt. I removed piles that cluttered the space. I carefully measured the wall and hung them. That they so perfectly fit the space and matched the colors already in the room was no surprise. They were home.

They are home, settling in, and I am settling into their presence. I am not sure what lessons they'll be teaching me, but I am trying to be open. I am also noticing some hesitation. I feel a little shy about getting to know them, even though I already have intimate connections with them.

The first drummer’s cloak is made from a jacket I gave Penny several years ago. It had hung in my closet unworn for years before that, too shabby to wear, too beautiful to simply discard. A Salvadoran friend gave me the jacket in the early 90s. Last year he died of COVID-19. His jacket has found new life not only in this tapestry but in numerous others.

The sleeves of the third drummer came from another item of my clothing, bought in India and worn until it, too, was too ripped to wear. That cloth has also been revived in its repurposing. I delight in recognizing it in new works of art. The third drummer also wears a keffiyeh, a traditional scarf of Palestine. Though the particular fabric in this work has never touched my body, Palestine most certainly has.

The second drummer wears nothing I have worn, but a friend said her energy is similar to mine. I don’t know. I find her just as intriguing as the other two. Someone else suggested that my place with these women is as the fourth drummer. That, too, is still unknown to me.

What I do know is that these drummers will be teaching me for at least the next few years. I hope that I will understand their lessons. Connecting with them is but one way I will continue practicing leaning into Knowing, Wisdom, Sophia.

This practice, and it is a practice, of leaning in, is a part of everything I do. Sometimes I practice well, sometimes my practice falters in small and huge ways. I am thankful for those around me who help me re-ground and re-enter the practice. It is also part of my work to encourage others to lean into Wisdom and Knowing, even if my knowing and theirs seem to contradict one another. In those times we are invited to hold the both/and. I've said many times that I don't want anyone to trust me to the detriment of trusting themselves. So many of us have been taught to ignore, deny, dismiss, disparage, not to trust our Knowing. I don't want to contribute to anyone's mistrust of themselves, their disconnection from Knowing.

Thankfully, it seems that, like me, more people are practicing trust. Experimenting with entering Mystery. Reclaiming Knowing. Re-membering Wisdom. Getting to know Sophia. It is beautiful work. Risky, because She often offers information that doesn't make logical sense, invitations to transformation that don't fit in the systems we live in. But when we trust Her, we can feel the rightness of it settle in our body, grounding us, aligning us, even when it's scary. Aaahhhh...

My wish for you is that you know Her, too. That you recognize Knowing, Wisdom, Sophia within you and that you find places and people with whom to practice trusting.

Blessings,

Cory


*The Greek word for wisdom is Sophia.